Thursday, October 15, 2009


I am sitting in front of my laptop and continuously thinking that what I should write on this day of myself. Either I have nothing to write or I have so many things to write that I don’t know what I could write. Leave it; I don’t want you people to wrangle on my worries which I am passing on every day.

Ok guys, first of all wish me is my Birthday, not today basically, still 1 hour and 15 minutes left. Just before 22 years back in 1987, I came in this giant world with my small dreams, dreams which still have to be fulfilled. I had born in the evening of 15th October in 1987 at some hospital of Hardwar city, because of this karmic connection with this pious city, sometimes my friends too considered me pious as they think or they have a thinking that I born in such a holy place so I must having a sacred heart. From my point of view, I am still not sacred, albeit many times, I took a bath in Ganga River for flushing out my all bad karmas.
Today is the day of happiness for me, tomorrow morning when I wake up, definitely there will be hundreds of calls, messages, gifts, ...smiles, wishes, dishes will be waiting for me, everyone will talk me with a certain kind of kindness, ...because...anybody guess??? don’t need to...obviously because it’s my birthday. But for what they are wishing me, the reason that I am going to add one more year in my life, one more year to get into old people’s list or one more year added in my experience, yuppie ...I am experienced now. They are wishing me for the reason that I am getting closer to my date of death, oh my God, how rude this world with me? I don’t want any wishes for these reasons, I want only those wishes which makes me feel more young, more energetic, better than my juvenile days. I want the gift which can return the days of my juvenile period, the period when I was in my originality away from all those worries, pain, stress, the period when I used to cherish every moment of my life. Can anybody give me the gift of those days? I don’t want to eat in 5 stars hotel or in some clumsy restaurant, but I want those foods which I used to eat with affection and love.
I want my days back when my father used to pick me after hours from school; I want that happiness which I used to feel when I saw my father standing outside the school premises. Can anybody return those days? I don’t want any bashing parties, but I want those parties which my family used to give for me on the day of my birthday, the taste of a cake and the curiosity for gifts I still remember. Can anybody give me those parties? When I recall my memories of those days, I feel the same kind of feelings and embarrassment when I used to take the packets of toffees for the whole class and the class teacher told everybody to clap for me, the feeling of being special on that day is unforgettable. How could I forget the special dress especially for my birthday which my mom brought for me every year, though today I purchase whatever dress I want, but the happiness of wearing that dress was indelible.
I asked these questions to my father, he told me you will again feel these things when you will become a father, for every man there is two phases of life, one for himself and other for his children. He feels the same feeling of his childhood when he glimpses his son doing the same things what he used to do in his childhood. But for that you have to wait for a life to repeat the same period in a different phase.
Now it’s almost 12, my sister already wished me. She always the first to wish me, for that reason she calls me even before the exact 12 strikes of a clock. Now another call is on a line and that call is of somebody whom I considered very very special in my life. First of all I have to wish myself...